Alright. As much as people complain that the United States is strictly a two-party system, there's a fucking reason we do it that way. We might dispute elections, call for recounts, prevent minorities from voting, have ballots that confuse the fuck out of AARP members, lose votes, ignore votes, and trade votes, but in the end we know which of the two evils are being elected to the office of biggest fucking tool in America.
Sure, I'd like to see Ron Paul as president too (It'd be as much of a joke as anything else involving the government). I mean, the guy's batshit insane, but... well really he's just batshit insane, that's good enough for me. However, being realistic, I understand that that can never fucking happen. Candidates have to do things within the terribly twisted system of evil that we've developed over the past 200 years. You can't just yell things that "make sense," put up a fuckload of stickers, and have people hop into Call of Duty games and yell "Vote Ron Paul!" until they get banned. That's not how American democracy works motherfucker.
Same goes for aging "Captain Buzz-Kill" Ralph Nader, champion of the third party and white guys with dreadlocks. I fucking get it, dude; it shouldn't be a two party system, but do you really think there are enough dirty hippies out there to get you into the fucking White House? Of course not. You're just trying to make a fucking point. And looking at the Israeli elections, you can see just why the point you're making is fucking retarded. Oh, except for the environment, that point isn't retarded, but are we really going to elect a president on just that platform? We know the answer is no, so don't fucking lie to me you Chevy Corvair-killing douchebag.
The reason that the Israeli elections are deadlocked is because they have too many fucking parties; which surprises the fuck out of me, you'd think there would just be two: the kill palestinians party and the don't kill palestinians party, but whatever. If we really wanted to, we could break the Democrat and Republican parties into many smaller parties representing the one issue that they feel is important.
Republicans could be broken into the following:
the "Get Off My Land!" party focusing on fully-automatic assault rifles and marrying your cousin,
the "Jesus Loves You, So Fucking Die!" party focusing on Christian values and killing pro-lifers, gays, and Muslims,
and the "We Own You" party focusing on oil, big business, and always winning because they have the fucking money.
Democrats would then be broken down to the following, listed briefly to save space:
the Black party, the Jew party, the Hispanic party (these three could combine in a Voltron-esque way to become the ultra-powerful Minority party, but that ain't fucking happening), the Crazy Lesbian party, the Unions party, the Damn Dirty Hippie party, the Educated-but-not-Rich party, the Gay party, The-Matrix-is-Real party, Oprah's Book Club, the World of Warcraft party (internally divided between Alliance and Horde), the KISS Army, and the people who always write in "Your Mom."
Is that what we want? No, that would be fucking ridiculous. So instead, every four years, 60% of the population comes together in the spirit of... i don't know... obligation, and votes for whoever their church, union, or favorite fucking celebrity tells them to, because we're all fucking sheep (that's not to say that we're having intercourse with domestic livestock, but simply that we blindly follow others regardless of the consequences).
So anyway, way to be Israeli, and way to show us how true Democracy just proves that we all only give a shit about one thing: ourselves... and fucking sheep.
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