Twitter Followers For Sale Drives Me to Madness

Australian marketing company uSocial now offers a paid service that finds followers for an individuals' Twitter feed. USocial features followers in blocks of anywhere between 1,000 and 100,000 users. The service does not pay followers, but simply finds potential followers by searching Twitter and finding what individual users are interested in. It then categorizes users and sends them messages about users that they might be interested in following.

Twitter started as a way for friends to update each other about their activities and status. Recently, as Twitter has grown in users and popularity, businesses and marketers have been targeting Twitter as a potential marketing medium. Many companies are building up as many followers as possible in hopes of monetizing them in the future. Despite Twitter becoming the newest channel for viral marketing, it appears that people have yet to start leaving it for the next big thing.

This definitively proves that there is no god. If there were a god, he would look down at his creation right now and say, "What the holy fuck is this gay shit about? Where did I go wrong?" and then BAM! Rapture time. But seeing as the faithful inbred-mutants from America's heartland haven't started disappearing, I'm sticking with the whole "god is dead" thing.

At first, it amazed me that a social networking site that inundates one with retarded updates from ones' retarded internet contacts could ever be seen as anything other than an annoyance. Now, I just don't know what to fucking say about it. Twitter is popular--this blog... not so much. Maybe I should go pay to have people follow my every fucking word. Perhaps I could then spread my poorly thought-out anger over upcoming apocalyptic events, movies, and other crap that I write about.

I feel this sort of disgust with new trends and the status-quo is what leads one to become a Blofeldian super-villain. Maybe in several years I'll be creating an intricate plan to destroy all social networking sites using a satellite-based laser beam, maniacal laughter, and a seemingly unstoppable sidekick portrayed by a foreign actor who nobody has ever heard of. Oh fuck!... maybe I could use Twitter to recruit an army of inept henchmen. This shit just gets better all the time!