A US Airways Airbus A320 ditched in the Hudson River shortly after taking off from LaGuardia Airport. The aircraft was less than a minute into its flight bound for Charlotte, North Carolina, when the pilot reported a "double bird strike" and then safely crash landed the plane in the river. All 155 people on board are safe and accounted for.
The real news here is that every goddamn news agency realized that there was no fucking news here. So instead of spending time covering something else for christ's sake, they felt that we needed to hear what happened from observers who have no fucking training whatsoever in news, television, aeronautics, or even speaking the language that they eagerly skull-fuck every time they open their mouths.
The end result is a thousand fucking news blurbs featuring New Yorkers walking down the motherfucking street while saying brilliant things like: "We all look out the window and it's coming right into the water," or "I just saw the big splash when the plane... bounced like... like they landed it on the water." Oh shit! Why do we bother paying news reporters when we can have this all the fucking time?!
I'm not criticizing these New Yorkers; no, they could beat the living shit out of my insides until it resembled scrambled eggs. They just want to be on TV. In fact, fuck it, I'd like to be on TV too. We all can agree on that. But here's something else we can all fucking agree on: today a french-built airplane landed in the fucking Hudson River. I don't need ten different eyewitnesses telling me in their own down syndrome-rooted words that the plane landed in the motherfucking water to convince me of that, I can read the fucking headlines.
Maybe the press should get some goddamn experts. You know, the kind who wasted their lives becoming doctors in some obscure field and were virgins until they turned 30, just so they could be cited by the cock sucking press when something like this happens. Or, here's a fucking bright idea, maybe they could tell us about a "double bird strike" and why this doesn't happen all the fucking time since there's a million fucking birds flying around New York City shitting on my car.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I understand that all channels combined there is close to 100 hours of news produced every day, and that it's hard to fill that time. But the saddest part is that you can watch all of it and still have major questions unanswered, like how is that every plane doesn't run into a bird every time.
Post a Comment